Honey, I’m Home

Al: Did you get the deodorant I asked for?

Brit: Yes, it’s right here. I got you a new scent. It’s Fiji.

Al: This is the wrong kind! It’s antiperspirant, not deodorant. You know how it gets stuck in my arm hair.

Brit: I did not, in fact, know that. I had no idea there was a difference. I just liked the smell.Al: Ughhhh….

Brit: Well, next time you can shop for your own damn deodorant.

Al: …

Brit: What did you do while I was gone?
Al: I got the new exotic sword and leveled up my hunter. I’m so excited! It took me two weeks to get it because this guy Lord kept tripping up and I was getting so mad—of course I had a couple of Smirnoff’s in me so that was only making it worse, but whatever.

Brit: That’s nice. What do you want for dinner?

Al: What do we have?

Brit: Meatballs and ziti or…chicken cordon blue or…ramen or…cereal.

Al: Can we just order a pizza?

Brit: Seriously? No. Pizza Hut is just around the corner, for one. But we have a ton of food here. We need to eat in.

Al: Fine…let’s just have ramen then.

Brit: That’s what you want? That chicken cordon bleu casserole has been sitting in the freezer for weeks. What’s wrong with that?

Al: I don’t like the crunchies…

Brit: The what?

Al: The crunchies. You know, the topping stuff.

Brit: The breadcrumbs? What’s wrong with breadcrumbs? You know what? Never mind. Just make yourself some ramen. I’m going to take a shower.


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