For context: Intro to My Happiness Project
This month I am going to focus on my motherhood. Now that I have ‘successfully’ transitioned to STAHM life for the summer (for more on this, see last month’s post), I want to re-center myself as a mother and work on those maternal qualities that still need fine-tuning (i.e. everything).
The tasks I have set myself are:
Be present. Because I am always looking to the future, and also because I am often looking at a screen, I need to learn to be more present and in the moment. I need to remind myself to “love the middle.” I want to try to strive for less phone time and more time playing with blocks. Also, studies show that when you are more attentive for limited amounts of time, your child will be more likely to play contentedly alone for periods of time. Whereas, when you never give them your undivided attention, they are less likely to engage in independent play.
As a subset of this task, I want to try to create mementos as a way to sort of be present but in the past if that makes sense. By making time for memories and then commemorating them, I will relive them and be even more present in the future. Plus helping PJ make a Father’s Day craft is rewarding in its own right. (i.e. something he will treasure forever & I can rub in his face next Mother’s Day).
Be patient. It’s hard to remember when the present moment is so hard, but just like everything else in life “this too shall pass” and sooner than I think I’ll be remembering this summer with bittersweet fondness and longing. With that in mind, I want to make “The days are long, but the years are short” my mantra when dealing with a needy toddler. Because even though sometimes I wish she didn’t need me so much now, I’ll wish she needed me more very soon–my preemptive nostalgia strikes again!
Be forgiving. This applies to both PJ and myself. I need to forgive her for acting out, because it is hard to have no autonomy and not understand the rules of the world at her age. But I also need to forgive myself for not being perfect, because it is so easy to judge myself far too harshly when Instagram makes mom-ing look so easy. So I will tell myself: “You are enough. You don’t have to be good at everything. It’s okay to ask for help.”
I’ll report on how keeping this month’s resolutions goes when I start the next round in June, so stay tuned!
UPDATE: Check out my status report on how Month Nine went!