For context: Intro to My Happiness Project
This month I am going to focus on friendships. That might sound silly to some, but friendships are more important than we give them credit for nowadays. It’s important to not rely on our spouses for all our emotional needs. In fact C.S. Lewis believed that, out of the four types of love, philia was the strongest. While I don’t agree that it is higher than eros (romantic love), I do see how it can be just as vital.
Bearing that in mind and the fact that I am more isolated from my friends than ever during the summer, I thought that June seemed as good a time as any to try to improve my friendly manners.
The tasks I have set myself are:
Be thoughtful. One of my best friends, Megan, is the most thoughtful person I know. She tells me to text her when I get home so she knows I’m safe. She gets me birthday presents that have clearly been curated over time. She intuitively knows to take PJ for a diaper change while I check out at Target.
Basically, she’s the best. So I want to be more like her. Especially because she is getting married on the 23rd and I am her maid/matron of honor (as she was mine). The day of my wedding, she took my phone and never let me answer it myself. She even told off a sorority girl who came to inform us that guests had parked in their parking lot– something I never knew about until later. So, in whatever way I can manage, I want to ease the stress of the wedding and make sure she gets to savor the sweetness of the day.
Go on lunch dates. With the isolation of summer that springs from physical separation (as is the case with Becca & I), comes a virtual substitute for human contact. So while I am in near constant contact with Becca and other friends, I still feel incredibly lonely. (I also spend too much time on my phone.) So I want to vow to actually go and meet friends, converse aloud, and enjoy the vibrant rhythm of real life conversation.
Make new friends. Sounds cheesy, right? It’s even a line out of a Girl Scout song I used to have to sing: “Make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold.” But in the non-sing-song reality of life, it can be a godsend to meet someone new that you have a lot in common with. Even if those things are all motherhood-related and the friendship ends with the start of the new semester. Having someone to share your experiences with provides a sense of ease (especially at social events, like story time!).
I’ll report on how keeping this month’s resolutions goes when I start the next round in July, so stay tuned!
UPDATE: Check out my status report on how Month Ten went!